An Apology

There's something I need to get off of my chest: I'm not the greatest father.  There, I said it.  While I'm at it, I need to add this: I'm not the greatest husband either.  Whew, now that I've got that out of the way, let me blog a bit about fatherhood and being a not so great husband.

Let's dig in, shall we? I've discovered only recently that I'm not the best dad.  I didn't learn this from someone telling me.  I deduced it from personal insight.  I perused the welcome to fatherhood books and thought, blah, I'll wing it,  how hard can it be? I don't remember there being a chapter about how to do absolutely everything right and your kids will grow up to be great people.  Eh, I might've fallen asleep before I got to that part. 

I finally discovered what it is that seems to be my downfall: it's me.  I finally know what it is that I've done to make me be a not so great dad.  By no means am I self-bashing, but I need to let dads of all sorts(ones that have been dads for many years, a few years, or are just getting started) know what I've found out about myself and what could be a hang up for them as well.

I'm self absorbed.   I don't know if it's because I was the baby of the family for 16 years and I grew to realize most everyone in the family was willing to let me slide on things.  Also, being the youngest, you learn from your older siblings and I learned what to do and what not to do, or at least get caught doing it. 

For far too long have I thought about what others could do for me.  This didn't become apparent until after children.  I wish it could've been sooner, like when I met Melissa and fell in love and got married.  I think she would've been appreciative of the self enlightenment.  I hope that she is now.

I've always thought my time was exactly that, mine.  It wasn't until maybe a few months ago, I found that this isn't true.  I don't know what led me to this discovery, but I'm glad I've found it.

So here it is, my apology:  Dear Ethan, Hayden, and my dearest Melissa, I'm sorry for being selfish and using the time that I have to only do what I felt met the minimum of being a dad and husband.  Moving forward, and please know it's a work in progress, I give all my time to the pursuit of happiness, godliness, and helpfulness to give each of you what you deserve.  A dad who takes the time to teach and play, even after a long day.  A husband who does more than keep the kids until you get home from work and then turns them over. There is an abundance of others to list, but I find that list a bit tedious, please, just know that I am always striving to become a better father and husband.

 The three greatest people I could have love me deserve more than I am and the only person that can do anything about is me.

Some Assembly Required

Changing table in the works

The words in the title to this blog are known to all moms and dads, we soon to be parents are just getting started.  I believe there should actually be a book somewhere about having a baby that should also have this title.  We will never be through putting things together for our kids.  Whether it be furniture as in the most pictures on this blog post, or if it is trying to put together a life on the right road for our young ones.  There will be times when we mend broken hearts, or pick up broken spirits, just as our parents did before us.

Again with the changing table

Enough sentimental stuff, lets get to the meat of this blog.  Tools and little use of directions, which
came back to bite me only a few times.  We ordered all of our son's furniture off the Internet, from JcPenny, which worked out great.  We got a credit account which helped save us money, we also got free delivery... just not free assembly.  Oh no, nothing free about that, just you, your tools, and a wonderful wife there to tell you when you're doing it wrong, and to take pictures of the process, too!  Actually, Melissa didn't nag, which is true to her character, she really helped out, even while being seven and a half months pregnant. 


I decided to start with the changing table, you see there's a method to picking out which piece of furniture you should start with, especially if you plan on assembling all of it in one day.  I figured I'd start with the second most aggravating piece, followed by the most aggravating, then finish up with the easiest/ least aggravating.  According to my level of aggravation, I messed up the order.  We got everything completed all the same.

The finished changing table.

You've got to make sure you tighten everything
 down as best as you can, your child is depending on you!

We took a break after the assembly process was complete, we went to get something to eat and, I believe, we did a little shopping at Babies R Us. We purchased a Serta mattress for the crib, which was second on the list of assembly.  My sister, Joanna, stopped by and helped out with this process, which made it a little less frustrating.  Notice the glider and ottoman in the background, we didn't get any pictures, but we did have to assemble those as well, which wasn't difficult at all.  Except for buttoning the cushions on, that was a pain. 

Joanna was helping, Molly and Louie were not.
They were more interested in spending time with Aunt Joanna.

Finished product.

With blanket, which we learned in birthing class, we shouldn't
put in with Ethan, it can be dangerous.

Now for my coup de grace, the chest of drawers, I'm not even sure why I thought this would be an easy construction, but apparently at the time I did, boy, was I wrong. 

Getting the pieces organized with Louie's help.

Maybe it was the fact that I had been assembling all day, or because the first two pieces went so well, I thought I didn't need the directions this time, whatever the reason was, I know that this was a pain!

Molly and I having a moment.

Who is that handsome, handy man?

The drawers were pretty simple, so simple I could talk on the phone
at the same time!

Finished product, looks simple enough, but don't let it fool you.
I think the third drawer sticks a bit too, tried to loosen everything
and resolve problem, but, alas, I could not figure it out.

The aftermath

During my crazy month of December, I put together a few other items.

We purchased a Baby's 1st stroller/car seat.  Not much assembly required,
just attached the wheels.

The biggest dynamic going into the stroller/car seat
was learning how to operate everything.  Which
we found wasn't terribly hard.  Then again,
we didn't have a screaming baby with us at the time.

We also bought a Graco swing set.  Not at all fun to put together, but not
incredibly hard. I was finished in about 45 minutes.

It has different settings for swinging, slow or fast, it also
has different songs on it, two of which were in our wedding.
There are nature sounds and the mobile, which
isn't battery operated, it moves as the swing
goes back and forth.

We're pleased with all the items we've received so far, and I have even more to blog about later.  We've had three baby showers since the middle of November, with lots of pictures!

All Day Birthing Class

I will go on record and say that if you have a choice, never ever take an all day birthing class.  The only reason we did was because of our different work schedules.  We knocked out 6 classes in an eight hour window on November 19th. 

Each class had a different title, but since it was all day class, I don't remember any of them.  It was like a blur, so much info, so little time to compute.  The basics were fairly simple, I had no problem putting diapers on a doll that was not struggling or fighting against me.  Learning how to properly bath a newborn was informative.  I remember and firmly believe in, if you don't know if your baby is actually sick or just not feeling well, but you're not sure, call a doctor, or mom or mother-in-law. 

I know that the wife's recovery is very important and can take some time, which is to be expected.  The instructor mentioned to the guys that we might be on the hook for cooking and cleaning for the first  six weeks, which is about par for most mom's recoveries.  I just hope Melissa doesn't get tired of hamburgers, pizza, grilled cheese and such.  I'll be off for the first two weeks so maybe I can expand my menu, or we'll end up eating a lot of pick up. 

The videos we were shown were very dated, but covered everything you need to know about what happens at birth.  And, yes, guys, they are not pretty, but you need to go through this so you know what to expect in the delivery room of your own wife, or mother of your child.
Since we took the all day class, we didn't get a chance to learn baby CPR, we might be signing up for that later.  All in all it was a great day, time spent with my wife, met some new people, learned about delivery and newborns, but still suggest the night courses!

The Final Countdown

Before I get started, I want to congratulate fellow blogger Ryan and his wonderful wife Katherine on the birth of sweet, beautiful Molly Grace.  I also want to get on to Ryan, not for not blogging, because we all know how busy having a newborn makes us, but for not posting any pictures of his angelic daughter on the site!  Chop chop, mister!



This is it, the last three months of pregnancy, the final trimester, the end of us being a couple and the beginning of us being a family.  We have a lot on our plate for these last few months. Not only showers soon to be here, but a full day of birthing class, bi-weekly doctor's visits, then weekly ones, and to top things off the wonderful holiday season.  Also, Melissa is going to be traveling for work soon.  Ah, the holiday season, a great time of year, a time I truly enjoy, but also the busiest we'll be at work.  I'm not sure how, but we'll make it through this season and before we know it, Ethan will be here.

Not much has happened since my last blog, we did get the baby furniture in, it hasn't been assembled yet, but it's here.  We also had a very enjoyable trip to San Francisco with Melissa's parents.  I had never been to California before, even though most of my family(me included) are huge San Francisco Giants fans, it was a tremendous treat to say the least.  We did some sightseeing and even toured AT&T Park where the Giants play.

My beautiful pregnant wife hanging from a stationary street car.

This was at the end of the street car line not far from Fisherman's Wharf.

Can't go to SF without going here.

Great shot of the street car line, and the very steep hill we came down.

Gotta go here too, they make some pretty good chocolates!

We took a boat tour of the bay, I got this shot of the Golden Gate Bridge on my iPhone.

Yours truly sitting in the Giants dugout, Melissa kindly pointed out that the Giants behind my head with the s covered made it an accurate description of my noggin.

Full House houses, aka the Painted Ladies.

Can't see it very well, but that's the 18th green at Pebble Beach

My lady standing in a Redwood.

Biggest trees I've ever seen, I'm sure they make a sound if one falls and no one is around.

Alcatraz, or as Sean Connery would say "The Rock"

The traveling baby bump is back! Notice, it's grown a bit since Florida. 

Baby Bump at the ballpark.

Baby Bump cruising the Bay.

Baby Bump at the beach in Monterey.



Baby Bump at Pebble Beach, which in this photo is not so pebbly.



There, I'm done channeling my mother, for those of you that don't know, she loves to take and share pictures! Speaking of mom, before we left for San Francisco my parents were in town for a few days on their way through to Illinois to visit more family.  We had a great time, which to my family is hanging out and eating, especially Guadalajara Grill.

We had a doctor's visit this past Monday, a check up and for Melissa to take her sugar test, which she didn't pass.  Therefore, she's going back in a few hours to do an even longer test, I think they said it will take three hours for this one.  We're hoping things go better this time.  I got quite a few responses when I posted this on facebook and most were mothers who had gone through this a few times during their pregnancies and everything turned out fine, but we still have our fingers crossed.  For the first time the nurse had no problem finding our boy's heartbeat.  Every other time he's either turned away or hiding some how and they have to chase him around, all the while smearing jelly all over Melissa's tummy.  Other than the test, everything checked out just fine on the visit.  I believe Dr. Chauhan said he's on his way to being better than seven pounds before he's born, which Melissa blamed on my large head.  What can I say, I come from a family of large noggins.

That's about it for now, I'll have more in a week or so (baby shower next week), and definitely pictures of baby furniture assembly party! We call it a party so people will come help us, hey, promise some food and you can get folks to come out.



Overwhelmed

It's not always easy to admit when you're wrong, right guys? Well, I know I've been wrong by not blogging as I should.   So, this could be a very long blog or a Reader's Digest abridged version. Let's see, it's been over two weeks since my last post, a lot has happened since then, well it seems like a lot. I know Ryan has his hands full with last minute details (Katherine too!), the countdown is on for Molly's big arrival!  Can't wait to see her.

Let me get straight to it, Melissa and I went to register at Babies R Us and Target, this is where the overwhelming sensation hit me.  It was fun at first, I, being a total dude, enjoyed the little scanner (which also double as a phaser in between scanning) just as much as I did when registering for wedding showers.  We looked at awesome outfits on clearance, where we bought his first beach attire for next Spring or Summer.  I picked this out, and am really pleased with myself.

Drink it up ladies, he's going to be the coolest little guy at the beach!

Then, after the playfulness and clothes shopping, things started to get a bit more serious.  This is when I started to feel overwhelmed.  I had no idea what or how much of anything a baby needs.  There is so much stuff to consider!  What kind of diapers, what kind of bottles, what kind of lotion for diaper rash, are we going with formula or does my wife think she wants to breastfeed, if we need formula, what kind, if breastfed, what kind of pumps, we need first aid supplies: thermometers, the little bulb thingy that squirts stuff into the nose or is it the ear, I don't even know what it's for, tiny finger nail clippers, etc, etc, etc.  I thought this was going to be a walk in the park, but there is so much stuff I didn't even consider about having to, well, consider.  They gave us a list of most common items, which was helpful, but I'm a guy, we don't ask for directions, do you think I'm going to follow a checklist?

Melissa sensed my frustration, and she already knows this about me, which is something I am learning of myself, if things don't go smoothly, I get detached, also known as A.D.D. I think. This is a self-diagnosis, or wife diagnosis, I skip around to different attractions and I can't focus on any one of them.  This is something not new to me, but I have a new awareness of it.  So sometimes when blogging, which is a typed form of thinking, I can get off on tangents, chasing rabbits is how some people put this, not that I'm frustrated about blogging or anything, it's just the way the ol' noggin works.  So she stepped up, which she does so well, and took the reins, which she already had anyways, and we started through the checklist.  Just to point out, I was never leading this venture, I was just kind of meandering around, so really what she did was put me on track, which apparently happens often.  So I tried to focus on the baby bottles.  There are many different types and we actually registered for a couple different sets, but one brand drew me in,  Tommee Tippees. 

I'm not sure what it is about them, they claim to be closer to nature, so they work much like the real deal.  They look neat, but there are mixed reviews online.  If any of you have tried them, please let us know how they worked out for you.  I will of course review them myself once Ethan arrives, hopefully I will find the time. 

I wanted to go all out for the baby monitor, with the camera and and night vision capabilities, but I let myself be talked out of it.  Which is quite alright, the ones we settled on are practical and a lot cheaper, I'm not sure of the brand, but when we start receiving these items and actually start using them, I hope to start a review section of the blog. 

Let's move on to something else now.  We had another appointement this past Tuesday, September 27th.  This was one of the quickest visit ever to a doctor's office.  I mean ever, any doctor.  We showed up on time, sat in the first waiting room for maybe five minutes or less.  Got called to the back, Melissa got to do her business in a cup while I waited in the second waiting room.  She rendezvoused with me there, where we waited another five minutes, at most.  Then we were called to our room, where we waited the longest on this visit, but not as long as usual.  The nurse took Melissa's BP and asked a few questions, I was doing my best to stay awake, sipping on a peppermint white mocha (too bad we can't get Starbucks to sponsor our site, everytime we name a product we'd get paid, like those Nascar guys...random I know, it's 4 am, I'm doing my best).  She then gooped the glob of gel on Melissa's tummy and searched for Ethan's heartbeat.  This is always neat to me.  We listen to him for a few moments and then the nurse cleans up the blob and is gone. Enter our doctor, Heather Chauhan, with her usual cheery self.  She's been great so far, and I can tell, will be thorughtout the pregnancy.  She asks a few questions, Melissa replies, then Melissa asks a few questions and she replies.  I don't usually feel the need to add anything, and if I do it's more than likely an awkward attempt at a joke or in response to a question Melissa looks to me on.  This whole exchange took less than 10 minutes, I believe, and we were good to go.  Everything checked out alright and we set up a few more appointments then left.  Next visit Melissa gets to go through the glucose tolernace test, or the sugar test as most say.  Some of the ladies at work say it doesn't taste very good, and that I, as the supportive husband, should taste it as well...we'll see.  I would try to explain what the test is, but you're better off clicking on the link. 

I want to thank everyone for being here for us, I think I can speak for Ryan as well, when I say that your support and kind words and information you pass along to us is what helps keep this blog going.  That and our want to share with our kids what things were like leading up to their arrival and of course the many years after they've been here. 

I also want to thank you Ryan for considering me for this venture, if it weren't for your creativeness, I would just be bouncing along on this journey (trip into fatherhood) with no channel to direct some of my thoughts and reactions. I hope we can keep it up.

Until next time, which should never be as long as it took for this time, but can't really say it won't be.

Pee Pee Teepee

I've been shopping a couple of times with my expecting wife at Maternity Motherhood.
This place has nothing to do with dads, or does it?  I think you fellas will dig this.  Upon the final decision on what wonderful styles of clothes to purchase, my wife proceeds to nudge me out of my iPhone induced zone(the usual, checking sports scores, words with friends, and facebook).  We head to the register, where, again, she nudges me.  I'm not angry about this, just a little put off, I mean I know she can handle the clerk and transaction by herself, she's a pro at shopping.  I get the nudge all the same.  Then she points toward the impulse buy rack right next to the register, you know the rack, at most places it's filled with candy and gift cards and things of that ilk, but here at Maternity Motherhood they have nice little books about moms and daughters and dads and sons.  Then I realized what she wanted me to see: The pee pee teepee (I know it's spelled tepee, that's what the package reads)

We've got little rockers!

That's right, a mini teepee to cover your boys wangdoodle(that's another one, wangdoodle wigwam) to protect from the errant stream of pee that I've heard so many stories about.  These little cone-shaped pieces of felt (I'm guessing) are used during diaper changes.  We've all seen the diaper commercial where dad goes in and lays his son down on the pad on the bed and removes his diaper only to find his son is still fully loaded and blasting all over the walls.  It's a little over the top and shows that diaper is supposed to absorb so much more than it's competitors, I'm not even sure which company it is, I might need to look into that.  Knowing that it was over the top, and that, even though as fathers, we dream our sons could display such ferocious abilities(we would proudly beam, and say he gets it from me) I'm sure we're talking about a lot less power.  Which would make theses teepees very practical.  They come in all colors and designs:

Animals are always fun! Especially monkeys!

There are tons more, google them, or click here.

Now I realize that many of you might have already heard of these brilliant and practical doodads.  Yeah, I just called 'em doodads. But, for myself this was brand new.  I must say I had a healthy chuckle about them, and I also I have to say I was intrigued.  I've not been around a lot of baby boys, but this just seems like something that would create more buzz.  If you haven't checked out the link above, then you don't know how big the market is for these tallywhacker tents(I'm having fun coming up with different things to call them as well).  If this is your first encounter with pee pee teepees, then I'm glad I could show you something that I think all of us could appreciate and smile at. 

I just got a new design idea sitting here. You could make them look like little socks(which would probably work just as well) and put RHCP on them.  For those that don't know that's short for Red Hot Chili Peppers, a band that was known in their early days to perform on stage wearing only gym socks on their baby makers. 

I hope this has been informative and helpful.  I'll be sure to purchase some before Ethan makes his arrival so we can test and grade them. 

9/11--Jake

I'm actually typing this on 9/12 but it's something I wanted to do to remember what 9/11/01 meant to me then and means to me now. 

I read a lot of nice posts about this infamous date on facebook throughout the day.  Some were about what they were doing or about those lost, about how our soldiers are still avenging/protecting us.  I had a mixture of feelings and I want to try to put into words what was going through my head when thinking about the day the towers fell.

Back in September 2001, I was just a 20 year old guy with not a lot going on.  I worked at a local mom and pop restaurant and lived in Texas with my brother.  I was to be at work at ten that morning and was on my when the dreadful events occurred.  I usually listened to my CD player, blasting out the latest tunes in my truck that could barely hold the sound system I had installed.  And I had started out doing just that, but for some reason I thought I'd listen to some talk radio that day on my way.  I tuned to the Dallas station WBAP 820 AM and that's how I first heard what was going on.  I thought they were messing around, but this wasn't a station that joked like that, not that any station would ever do that, but I knew it was serious coming from this one.  I sped to work to catch the news.  I remember standing with the few others there and watching the news in disbelief.  I felt detached, like this had to be some movie.  I felt angry too.  We had work to do, so we prepped everything and caught what news we could in between serving and cooking food.  I remember prices at the gas stations going up, and my boss asking if I needed to go ahead and fill up, and my response, no, I have half a tank and the lines are too long.  In the days following there was a group of friends that kept saying we were going to sign up for the military to help avenge the deaths and to protect our freedoms, but none of us did.  Sometimes I regret that, but I wouldn't be here today if I had done so.  I could've been killed, injured or still over there, instead of choosing the path I have taken.

Now, ten years later, I can see how young I was and how little the world was to me back then.  I know there were many people lost at the towers from different ages, but all were the same.  They were mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, sons, daughters, friends, they were unsuspecting, and they all had there lives cut too short.  Now that I'm living not for me, but for Melissa and Ethan, I can imagine what it could be like to lose either one and it shakes me.  But that's just imagination.  Those that perished left behind many to mourn their loss, and they felt the reality of heartache.

I know I can't put into words the joy I feel knowing I'm going to be a dad.  I also know that I can't possibly know how or when my time will be up.  But I do know I will love every moment I get to spend with the ones I love.  I also know that I am thankful for so many men and women giving the greatest sacrifice to allow me to do so.   I am proud to be an American, and I hope everyone who reads this feels just as proud to live in the greatest county on Earth.

Last Summer Vacation--Jake

Hey everybody, hope you haven't forgotten about us.  Had a busy week last week, got to take a Labor Day weekend trip to Pensacola Beach Florida just in time for Tropical Storm Lee!

How exciting was that? Not very, constant winds and rain, but at least we got out of town for a few days, ate great food (mostly), and had wonderful company. And Tuesday, the day we were headed back for Memphis, it was beautiful of course. 

Friday through Monday night:


Tuesday Morning:

We did get a chance to go to the Naval Aviation Museum which was nice.  I suggest it to anyone who makes it to Pensacola and has to deal with rain or sun, it's free and can kill some long afternoon hours. 

On our way back from the museum we stopped at an old lighthouse that was built in 1859.  The sun popped out for a second so we had to move quickly to get any pictures! Melissa took this while her cousin and I went up the 177 steps to the top, it was quite the workout, and when we got to the top the workout wasn't over, we had to fight the winds that had been hounding us for our entire trip! Supposedly it's haunted, but we encountered no ghosts on this day.

Before I forget, the wind was so bad it blew up quite the jellyfish crowd, which luckily, none in our party got stung.

I know everyone is asking what does this have to do with All Things Daddy?  I'm getting to that.  On the day we were about to leave I got an idea, and I 'm glad Melissa decided to go along with this thought that I had.  I know everyone is familiar with traveling gnomes, but for those that aren't, I'll give a brief explaination.  You find someone's garden gnome, steal it (borrow) for a trip and just take photos of it at the different places you went to, returning gnome at the end with no harm done.  Well I'm applying this idea to Melissa's baby bump, without all the stealing. I have a small window of time to get this in, but here's the first, with many to follow hopefully.

Following up that weirdness, I'm going to end this blog on an awesomely high note.  First of all, I was supposed to do this earlier, when I got off work, but I procastinate with the best of 'em (thanks Pop). I feel I have a great excuse though, I just worked 1st shift after finishing up second shift from Friday night.  So, that means Friday I worked 4:00 to 12:30 am, and got into bed about 2 this morning.  Then had to be up and back at work at or around 10:00 am.  It just so happened Melissa had to go in today for on-call training so she was getting up early, and we all know when the spouse gets up, we aren't usually far behind(doesn't help the dogs wake up and proceed to lick my face too).  So instead of getting up at 9:00, like the plan was, I was wide awake at 7:00! These are good times though, we get to lay together and chat and check ipod/iphone news.  This morning was especially special though.  I got to feel the baby move for the first time.  Melissa told me Ethan was moving around, so I placed my hand, minus the Vulcan salute(see previous blog title There's a Baby in There), on her tummy and felt the little guy kick, or punch, or headbutt, it doesn't matter which.  It was just so awesome to feel him move!  I've said it before, but just like seeing him on the ultrasound, feeling him move makes it all the more real.  I love him so much and I don't even know him yet.  

Drum roll please.... -Jake

Ladies and gentlemen, a moment you've not really been waiting for, but a moment all the same, can I have the envelope please.  I would try to drag this out as long as possible but right now I'm too excited and too sleepy to think of clever one liners and the like.  So, without further ado, we're having a BOY! That's right, circle gets the square for the block, I know that has nothing to do with anything, but I've always wanted to say or in this case type it out in a situation where it doesn't fit at all.

The doctor says everything is progressing quite nicely.  I'm not sure I'll ever get over how awesome and breathtaking it is to see the little guy on the sonogram.,  They showed us his brain, kidneys, spine, leg bones, we even saw his eye sockets!  We got the thumbs up on everything and I looked at Melissa and said she's doing a great job growing our child.

Now I'm going to catch a quick nap, but when I get home tonight I'll add a few pictures and see if I can upload the DVD somehow.

Music by The Monkees, vocals Peter Tork, Album The Birds, The Bees, and The Monkees, Bonus Track.

Ok, got the DVD uploaded, finally, I'm learning this stuff as I go...bear with me! 

And the winner is....--Jake

I would first like to apologize to anyone that was expecting to hear/read if Melissa and I were having a boy or a girl on Tuesday.  In true daddy form, I totally mixed up appointment dates.  The big reveal will be later today, around 11:00 am.  Big news will be read here as soon as I get home, til then feel free to comment and guess who will be joining us in January, Ethan or Emma. 

On another note, Operation: Healthy Dad has been underway for almost two months now and I'm still going strong.  I've missed a few days here and there, but I usually go to the gym about five days a week.  I regret to inform that I didn't hit my target weight to this point in the op, but I'm feeling great and eating better than I have in a long time.  Needless to say, when we go to Pensacola this weekend for a last minute summer get away, I'll need to stay on point and not get carried away with the delicious foods I'm sure I'll be around.  Enough about that.

I do, however, want to get into why I even started Operation: Healthy Dad.  The biggest reason, of course, is to be a healthy dad.  I know I'm not going to be the first 31 year old to have their first child at, well 31 (Ryan is beating me to it, BTW), but the thought of being the "older dad" when school functions start up for my tyke made me realize I'm going to be doing a lot of things that most people start doing in their 20's and even earlier in some cases (mom, you had your hands full with us, and Cindy you told me some stories, and I think you both did a great job).  I feel, and hopefully Melissa feels the same way, that this isn't going to be our only child, so already there's going to be at least one, if not more, to come after baby E and hopefully, all before the age of 40.  I need to be able to keep up with the herd, therefore, I'm buckling down and getting things under control.

Another reason is to be healthier for Melissa.  Again, this goes into being able to keep up with everyone and everything, I don't want to be the dad that tuckers out and leaves most things to mom to take care of.  This is a full on partnership and it's 50/50, not 70/30, or even 60/40.  I know there'll be times when one of us needs that extra rest or long hot shower to relax and I just want to be ready to pull my weight.

And then there is a selfish reason to this healthier dad kick I'm on.  I'm doing it for me, I want to be around as long as I can to be able to see all that I can in my children's lives and to grow old and grey with my love.  I've done some stupid things in my life that weren't healthy at all, such as smoking amongst other things I won't get into.  I always heard smoking takes so many years off the end of one's life, and I always said, before marriage, that I was fine with that, those are the worst years anyways.  Well, I've had a change of heart, and I'm trying to quit smoking all together, although I still have the occasional square just to indulge myself.  Plus, a healthier me means a better me.

That's all I've got this time around, until tomorrow afternoon when I get to let you followers know what types of baby stuff you guys get to send our way.  Kidding of course, unless you feel moved to do so, joking joking joking, no seriously, send us stuff...

Yes, there's a baby in there--Jake

I find myself doing this more and more often, and I bet it's becoming annoying to my wife.  When I go to bed, usually around four in the morning, I find myself cuddling up to Melissa and placing my hand on her tummy.  She's told me that she's felt our baby move a couple of times , I keep telling her it's probably gas.  But still, I place my hand on her ever growing belly hoping to fell the slightest movement.  With my eyes closed, I strain to make my hand more sensitive to the faintest of wiggles, I feel  the slow, rhythmic breathing of my wife, but nothing else. I'm not sure what to expect, I want to think it's daddy bonding time, like the baby is on the inside holding it's newly formed hand to the inside of the womb touching mine through the belly, like Spock and Kirk in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn, all without the dying part.  Alas, I haven't felt anything, but this will not deter me from trying every night.

Melissa, I feel, has been a little self-conscious about her baby bump. When I first started to notice, I wouldn't point and say "wow, you're gaining a few pounds" or "geez, are you supposed to be that big already?". I would just say "aww, my baby's got a baby bump", to which she would reply, "No I don't.", and I would respond, "Baby, it's ok, you're pregnant, enjoy it!". Occasionally, like a small child, I point to or touch Melissa's belly and question, "is there a baby in there?".  And she answers, "Yes, there is a baby in there.". 

The idea for this came to me while we were in Columbus over the past weekend, as guest of Ryan and Katherine and the soon to arrive Molly, I couldn't help but notice that a few people took it upon themselves to reach out and rub Katherine's tummy.  I have no idea how this affected Katherine or her demeanor.  If it bothered her, she didn't show it, she kept smiling and going about her business as though it were normal.  I've heard many different views on this subject and some I can't repeat on here, but I try to put myself in those shoes and wonder how I would handle these tummy rubbers.  This is what I came up with.

1.  I would charge a $.25 per hand fee with a penalty fee of a dollar if the rubber went over a predetermined time limit.  Said time limit will be set by me, the rubee, and can change at anytime, even during said rub.

2.  I would have t-shirts made up with ridiculous statements on them, such as Touch my belly and lose a finger. Yes you can rub my belly, if I can punch you in the face.  The next person who even looks like they're going to touch me is going to be in pain...a lot of pain.  Maybe not the best, but you get my drift.

3.  If I knew it wouldn't hurt the baby, I would set up a couple of those prank hand buzzers and watch the magic happen as someone would come in for the belly grab.

4.  Speaking of pranks, maybe a squirting flower or such like.

5.  With the slightest touch I would cringe in agony and scream "They're trying to take my baby!"

I realize these, of course, are all together crazy, but it's just an idea, and if any of you ladies would ever like to use any of them, feel free, just think of me when executing these devious plans.

My wife hasn't told me this has happened to her yet, and I haven't seen it happen, but I do know it's going to come around inevitably.  I know she, like every other woman that's ever carried a small person inside of them, will respond with smiles and nice words, and then later tell me how she wanted to just tell them off, I mean who are they to touch HER belly! Until then, I'm going to keep trying to feel some wiggling, and I'm going to keep asking "Is there a baby in there?"

Sleepness nights...and the baby isn't here yet--Jacob

Before I get started, let me introduce myself. Hi, I'm Jake, I'm 30, and I'm going to be a dad in January.

When Mr. Munson asked me to join his ranks as one of his daddy bloggers, I jumped at the chance, then I realized I've never blogged before.  Then I thought, wow I'm going to make a fool of myself by doing something everyone can see and read and point to and question "he's a blogger?".  I got a bit nervous and thought maybe I should back out, then it hit me, not only have I never blogged before, but I've never been a dad before! And I'm very sure there are going to be times when people point and question "he's a dad?".  So armed with this new self revelation and knowing that there are a lot of new experiences and unknowns in my future, I'm kicking off my blogging career.  I hope that I can be everything that a blogger is supposed to be: funny, informative, captivating, etc etc etc.

We got home from the Munson's baby shower around 9 o'clock last night, we had a blast.  We met some great people and hopefully didn't embarass ourselves or the Munson's too much.  I work second shift so I'm usually up late with nothing to do but watch tv or play video games, yes I still play video games, while I can, eventually I will pass this talent on to my offspring.  Last night though, after all the festivities of the weekend came to a close, I was worn out ( I battled a horrible case of the yawns on the way back to Memphis from Columbus).  So I decided to give in and go to bed with my beautiful wife, Melissa, who I occasionally get to see while on this shift. 

Our schedules aren't the greatest but we make it work.  She's an 8 to 5 working gal, and I'm a 4 to 1 working guy.  During the week we see nothing of each other, except when one of us wakes the other, either upon arriving home (me) or upon leaving home (her), and these few blinking seconds with a quick "I love you" along with a welcome home smooch or a have a great day kiss is how we make it through the week. I know she loves me, who else would be willing to risk my morning breath to say goodbye.  My shift can change on the drop of a hat or I can be stuck on a shift for half a year, but it usually switches from 1st to 2nd on a three month rotation. 

Anyways, to the sleepness nights that I mentioned in the title.  As read previously, I'm awake most of the night, and fall alseep for a few hours, then it never fails when it's time for Melissa to start her morning I wake up, usually grab my iphone, which is an extenison of my existance, and check all of the going ons, whether it be facebook or words with friends, then I'll fall back to sleep within 15 minutes.  Well, that's how it used to be, now I have a harder time shutting off my brain after waking up, even if it's only been a few hours of rest that I've gotten.  I think about anything and everything, from bills and housework (yardwork for me) to how to improve my Call of Duty ranking, and yes I've googled how to become faster and better at onling gaming, don't judge me. But now, I think more on one of the most important things in life, bringing a child into this world.

When we first decided to try and conceive, we didn't have a plan, we just practiced...a lot, it was an enjoyable time.  We were so anxious though, we thought we should've been pregnant within the first month.  We weren't real serious about it though, we knew it would happen, or hoped it would, but weren't getting crazy like waiting til the moon was at the right phase or any of that jazz.  It never happened though, so we did get a bit more serious, and apparently there's an app for that as well.  My wife found an ovulation tracker, calendar thingy, and took charge in when would be the best time for us to make a baby.  Armed now with a tracker and determination we tackled the second the month of Operation Baby Maker.  Again, this was an enjoyable time, and I'm sure all of you know this and experineced this, but I just want to put it down in writing, sort of, that that month was one of the best we've had as a married couple.  Not just because of the love making, but because of the first major "project", if you will, that we both we're on board for, we both had vested interest in this one.  I mean we've done home improvement before and worked together as a couple on many things, but this was different, this was spiritual.  There was a vulnerability laid wide open in front of both of us and the questions of what if we can't and what if it's me that we had to put out of our minds.  There was a great connection there that we hadn't had before, or at least to this degree.

After the hard work and dedication we found out we were pregnant the weekend of Mother's day, which, to me, was appropriate.  I stopped in at a CVS drugstore upon my wife's request and purchased some ept's.  This was my first time to purchase any feminine product, ever, and so I had mixed, awkward feelings walking through the store carrying these things, I wanted to make sure people knew I was married so I polished my wedding ring to the brightest it had ever been since being given to me by my best friend on our wedding day.  As I made my way to the register, my confidence grew, there wasn't a huge crowd in the store, but as I fell in line with the few others there, I got looks of congratulations from some of the guys, even a knowing fist raised in salute as I placed the product down in front of the cashier.  This would have been a great time for the scanner to have stopped working and a call to go out over the intercom for a price check, you would've seen me crumble, but it didn't happen.  I grabbed my newly purchased sticks for my wife to pee on and hit the door with all of the confidence in the world.  When we got home Melissa got a shy bladder, so we had to wait a few minutes, I asked every 30 seconds if she needed to go now, how about now? Now?  Finally the moment came, the work was done, and even though the package said it should take 5 minutes for a clear answer, by the time Melissa had handed me the electonic pee stick, it already had a postive  reading: PREGNANT! I said we're pregnant and she looked at me with disbelief and said no way, I pointed to the screen and said yes, yes we are! It was, as it is to most people finding this news out, very exciting!

Melissa's folks were on the their way to Georgia to see Melissa's grandma, my parents live in Loiusiana and neither of us could wait to let them know. We each did it in our own way.  Melissa called her parents and interupted their dinner and told them it could wait for them to call her back, but her mom, not knowing what it could be, said to go ahead and tell her.  My wife, gave no lead up, no long way around to getting to the point she simply said we're going to have a baby.  I'm not sure what was said after that, I was busy getting ready to tell my parents the same exciting news, in my own way.  I snapped an up close photo of the ept's screen that clearly read pregnant  and sent it to mom and dad.  Which it was good thing I did, my dad is a preacher and they were attending a singing with the local congregation. Mom had her phone turned down, but had no idea she recived a message, I think dad said he heard his beep and he turned it down without checking the message.  About 15 minutes later, mom checks her phone, gets up and leaves the auditorium and calls me ready to hoot and holler, but can't be too loud because of her present location.  Dad eventually calls me later to congratulate us and now all the parents know. 

We're 19 weeks along now, a week from tomorrow we finally find out if it's a boy or girl, and neither of us has a preference.  We're calling it baby E right now, for Ethan Thomas or Emma June, we still call it peanut every once in awhile too.  Most everyone, if not everyone I know has been told at least once or twice about how excited we are, probably to the point of annoying, but not only about how excited, but how nervous and scared we are as well.  Yes we have parents that are going to be here, and my sisters both live in the area, but at night, when the sun goes down and they go home, it will just be us three, alone, with no prior knowledge except for what a few thousand books or online sites have given us, but have never been put into practice before and I'm ready.  I'm ready for this adventure of parenthood, of entering fatherhood, even if I don't know a single thing about either, I'm ready to learn.  Most of all I'm ready to love.