9/11--Jake

I'm actually typing this on 9/12 but it's something I wanted to do to remember what 9/11/01 meant to me then and means to me now. 

I read a lot of nice posts about this infamous date on facebook throughout the day.  Some were about what they were doing or about those lost, about how our soldiers are still avenging/protecting us.  I had a mixture of feelings and I want to try to put into words what was going through my head when thinking about the day the towers fell.

Back in September 2001, I was just a 20 year old guy with not a lot going on.  I worked at a local mom and pop restaurant and lived in Texas with my brother.  I was to be at work at ten that morning and was on my when the dreadful events occurred.  I usually listened to my CD player, blasting out the latest tunes in my truck that could barely hold the sound system I had installed.  And I had started out doing just that, but for some reason I thought I'd listen to some talk radio that day on my way.  I tuned to the Dallas station WBAP 820 AM and that's how I first heard what was going on.  I thought they were messing around, but this wasn't a station that joked like that, not that any station would ever do that, but I knew it was serious coming from this one.  I sped to work to catch the news.  I remember standing with the few others there and watching the news in disbelief.  I felt detached, like this had to be some movie.  I felt angry too.  We had work to do, so we prepped everything and caught what news we could in between serving and cooking food.  I remember prices at the gas stations going up, and my boss asking if I needed to go ahead and fill up, and my response, no, I have half a tank and the lines are too long.  In the days following there was a group of friends that kept saying we were going to sign up for the military to help avenge the deaths and to protect our freedoms, but none of us did.  Sometimes I regret that, but I wouldn't be here today if I had done so.  I could've been killed, injured or still over there, instead of choosing the path I have taken.

Now, ten years later, I can see how young I was and how little the world was to me back then.  I know there were many people lost at the towers from different ages, but all were the same.  They were mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, sons, daughters, friends, they were unsuspecting, and they all had there lives cut too short.  Now that I'm living not for me, but for Melissa and Ethan, I can imagine what it could be like to lose either one and it shakes me.  But that's just imagination.  Those that perished left behind many to mourn their loss, and they felt the reality of heartache.

I know I can't put into words the joy I feel knowing I'm going to be a dad.  I also know that I can't possibly know how or when my time will be up.  But I do know I will love every moment I get to spend with the ones I love.  I also know that I am thankful for so many men and women giving the greatest sacrifice to allow me to do so.   I am proud to be an American, and I hope everyone who reads this feels just as proud to live in the greatest county on Earth.